2SLGBTQIA+ Affirming Relationship & Couples Therapy for Gay Men
“We’re usually good at solving problems, but with our relationship… we’re stuck.”
You’re used to being able to solve problems in other areas of your life. But with your relationship, the same issues seem to be happening again and again.
I can’t get him to tell me what’s wrong, he just shuts down and we don’t talk about it.
I get so angry at him sometimes and it scares me. It scares both of us.
I feel criticised all the time, like I can’t do anything right.
We want different things sexually and we don’t know how to get our different needs met.
I feel like we’re competing with each other, and it’s hard to be supportive when something good happens for him.
We feel more like roommates than partners now.
Some of these might sound all too familiar.
You’ve tried everything and you’re at a loss about how to make things better.
In moments of frustration, you think about what it would be like to end the relationship and start over with other people.
Maybe you’ve already opened up the relationship and are struggling with how to balance the excitement you have with new guys and the stale problems in your primary relationship.
Perhaps even the thought of opening up the relationship feels like an escape from the problems you’re stuck in right now.
Fights can be brutal, and afterward, you can go hours or days without talking about the fight, or with each other.
During these times, you find yourself feeling hurt, and don’t know how to move forward. So you just wait for the pain to pass and hope this won’t happen again.
But despite your best efforts, some big fight or misunderstanding happens again. And each time it does, those same feelings of hurt creep back and the cycle continues.
Sometimes when you look back at your childhood, you wonder if you’re repeating the same relationship patterns you saw growing up and it scares you to think you might be doing the same things.
Thinking about all these issues right now, that familiar hurt might be feeling particularly strong. You might even be feeling ready to give up on your relationship and wonder if there is any point in working on your relationship when things have gotten so bad.
The pain that you’re feeling right now makes a lot of sense. If you’ve been struggling in your relationship for a while, it’s no wonder you’re feeling hurt, and maybe even hopeless.
It’s really common to feel overwhelmed when you’re trying to find a counsellor and also thinking about all the issues you want to work on.
Now, imagine it’s a new day and you’ve been able to start resolving some of the issues in your relationship.
You wake up next to your partner(s) well rested, and you’re feeling safe, happy, and excited to be with them. You’re not scared about when the next fight or criticism is going to happen.
Imagine feeling like you can work through disagreements calmly and still feel connected afterward.
Imagine being able to express your differing needs to each other and find compromises that work. Yes, even different needs around sex and intimacy.
Imagine feeling truly understood by each other, and being able to truly understand them.
Imagine knowing you’re on a team with your partner(s) so that you can confidently count on your relationship as a source of support when times are tough.
Meet Victor Wakarchuk | Relationship & Couples Therapist
Victor Wakarchuk
(he/him) • RCC, MSW, RSW
Victor brings over ten years of comprehensive experience from hospital to mental health care environments, including roles in both HIV and transgender health clinics. He’s known for taking a warm, nonjudgmental, respectful, and open approach, which helps clients feel comfortable navigating their mental health challenges.
His extensive training and expertise in relationship and sex therapy equip him to sensitively support queer men with the nuances of their relationship and intimacy concerns. Victor is also excellent at helping 2SLGBTQIA+ folks manage anxiety, stress, and overwhelm that’s taking over their relationship.
- Credentials: Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), Registered Social Worker (RSW) in British Columbia, Ontario, and Alberta, and Professional Member with AASECT.
- Education: Master of Social Work (MSW), Level 1 & 2 Gottman Method Relationship Therapy, Intensive Sex Therapy Training Program through the University of Guelph, and the Sexual Health Certificate Program (Sex Therapy Track) through the University of Michigan.
- Locations served: Vancouver, Victoria, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary, & Edmonton.
Offering compassionate, professional relationship & couples therapy for gay men.
We’re deeply committed to providing queer-affirming, sex-positive, and trauma-informed relationship and couples counselling to gay men. We believe that everyone deserves to have fulfilling relationships while being true to themselves.
Ready to start? Click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. This initial conversation will help us understand your concerns and determine how best to support you.