Sex can feel awkward to talk about.
Especially as a gay man, issues in your sex life might feel particularly difficult to address because of shame, anxiety, trauma, and how accepting your environment was growing up. Yet sex and sexuality often play a crucial role in your overall wellbeing and mental health.
Our gay sex therapists specialize in providing gay sex therapy that’s 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming, sex-positive and trauma-informed. This means that you’ll never be shamed or judged for whatever you’re into and that your therapist will help you explore your concerns with a sensitivity toward your personal history. We recognize that optimal sexual health looks different for everyone and that it may include aspects such as non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM.
Meet Victor Wakarchuk | Gay sex therapist in Vancouver
Victor Wakarchuk
(he/him) • RCC, MSW, RSW
Victor brings over eight years of comprehensive experience from hospital to mental health care environments, including roles in both HIV and transgender health clinics. He’s known for taking a warm, nonjudgmental, respectful, and open approach, which helps clients feel comfortable navigating their mental health challenges.
His extensive training and expertise in sex therapy equip him to sensitively support queer men with the nuances of their sexual health and intimacy concerns. Victor is also exceptionally talented at helping 2SLGBTQIA+ folks in dealing with anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.
- Credentials: Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Registered Social Worker (RSW) in British Columbia, Ontario, and Alberta.
- Education: Master of Social Work (MSW), Intensive Sex Therapy Training Program through the University of Guelph, and currently completing the Sexual Health Certificate Program (Sex Therapy Track) through the University of Michigan.
- Locations served: Vancouver, Victoria, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary, & Edmonton.
Specialty areas:
Sexual anxiety and performance anxiety
Want to reduce anxiety during sex? Sex therapists can teach you tools to manage any anxiety, worry, stress, or overwhelm that feels like it’s impacting your ability during sex. A sex therapist can also help you find ways to feel more present during sex and understand what may be causing you to lose focus when being sexual with a partner.
Erectile dysfunction, ejaculation difficulties and challenges related to orgasm
Do you struggle with getting hard, staying hard, premature ejaculation, difficulty ejaculating, or other challenges with orgasming? Working with a sex therapist is one of the best ways to help manage erectile dysfunction, ejaculation difficulties, and challenges with orgasm. A sex therapist can help to assess what factors may be impacting you and make suggestions which can improve your satisfaction with your body’s functioning.
"Sex addiction" and sexual compulsions
“Sex addiction” is a way clients will often describe what they feel is too much of a sexual behaviour or thought. However, our therapists don’t subscribe to the addiction model in sex therapy because sex addiction treatment has not been shown to be an effective evidence-based approach. Instead, our therapists have found using the out of control sexual behaviour model (OCSB) to be the most helpful way for clients to lower their distress and increase their sense of control. Typically, this process includes exploring strategies for coping, addressing underlying issues related to impulse control, and examining the cultural and social contexts that may create concern.
Sexual orientation, sexual identity, sexual expression, gender identity, and gender expression
Clients often come to us struggling with shame or emotional overwhelm about how they identify and express themselves. Whether you’re questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity, in the closet, starting to come out, or have been out for a long time, accepting yourself can often be a lifelong journey with different challenges along the way. If you want to have a better relationship with yourself, a 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming sex therapist can help you grow more self-acceptance and understanding.
Why choose The Centre for Gay Counselling?
Curious if The Centre for Gay Counselling is the right fit for you? Here are some indicators that our counselling services might be aligned with your journey towards improved wellbeing.
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You want 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming, sex-positive, and trauma-informed therapy.
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Our commitment to helping 2SLGBTQIA+ folks extends far beyond the extensive training and expertise our therapists have with LGBTQ issues, sex therapy, and trauma-informed care. We believe in truly celebrating each person’s gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, and sexual expression rather than merely acknowledging or tolerating them. We see the diversity of human sexuality and gender as a valuable contribution to society, never as something abnormal.
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For us, the journey of 2SLGBTQIA+ affirmation is continuous and dynamic. Our psychotherapists frequently engage with the LGBTQ community to refine their methods with new insights and resources. We maintain strong connections with various 2SLGBTQIA+ organizations across Canada, stay informed about the latest 2SLGBTQIA+ mental health research, and actively participate in queer cultural events.
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You’re focused on getting longterm results.
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Our mission is to guide clients toward meaningful and lasting transformation through a holistic approach. By tackling current challenges and helping you heal from anything in your past, we aim for growth that lasts.
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Typically, those who achieve the most significant results in counselling are fully engaged in their sessions and adopt a long-term perspective on their mental health. We aim to empower people, providing them with the skills and confidence to maintain their wellbeing and build lasting resilience.
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You want to find a gay sex therapist with lived experience.
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Each counsellor in our queer-owned practice brings unique personal experiences that shape their expertise, fostering genuine empathy and connection with your journey. You can trust that your counsellor will offer compassionate support grounded in a profound understanding of the complex emotional and relational challenges often faced by 2SLGBTQIA+ folks.
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We believe that our therapists’ personal experiences should positively enhance your therapy sessions. Therefore, all our counsellors participate in ongoing clinical consultations and engage in their own therapeutic work to ensure they are fully equipped to provide the highest level of support.
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FAQs about sex therapy
Why do couples go to a sex therapist?
Gay couples, throuples, quads and partners from polycules may seek a sex therapist for a variety of reasons. However, there are several common reasons people seek sex therapy to address issues in their relationships.
Navigating open relationships and/or deciding to open a marriage are some of the most common reasons gay men might want to work on their relationship with a sex therapist. Exploring ethical non-monogamy in counselling is often complicated further when there has been infidelity or cheating in a current or previous relationship. Luckily, a 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming, trauma-informed, and sex-positive sex therapist is well-equipped to explore these relationship challenges with partners.
Sex therapy is often helpful for partners who want to resolve differences in sexual desire, manage feelings of sexual incompatibility, and just have good sex. A sex therapist can also help to create a safe and judgment-free space for partners to gain understanding and build communication skills related to sexual needs, sexual issues, emotional connection, fear, conflict, desires, and fantasies that feel “taboo.”
Even if you’re not in a relationship or participate in counselling individually, sex therapists can help you to improve your sexual relationship with other people and yourself.
What happens during sex therapy?
Growing up, many gay men didn’t get the opportunity for adequate and relevant education about sex and sexuality. So a typical sex therapy session may have a more extensive education, communication skills, and problem-solving component than general therapy. Once you’ve learned relevant information, you may also process emotional challenges related to sex and focus on addressing relationship issues.
As you and your therapist work on your challenges, you may be encouraged to see a medical provider for medical aspects of your treatment plan. This is to get help with options such as prescribing medications or getting medical examinations, which are outside of the scope of a sex therapist.
Although sex therapy sessions can include a variety of approaches, each session will be uniquely tailored to your specific needs and goals in counselling.
Can a sex therapist touch you?
Sex therapy is a respectful form of counselling that focuses on concerns related to sex and sexuality. All participants are always fully clothed, and no touching is ever involved in sessions. Boundaries and consent are of the utmost priority in sessions, and clients always have the right to say no to an approach or decline to discuss any topic during counselling.
A sex therapist’s role is to help you talk through sexual concerns which are bothering you to help you find solutions to your problems and work through your feelings. This process involves using evidence-based psychological techniques that are known to address and help solve challenges related to sex and sexuality.
Offering compassionate, professional sex therapy for gay men across Canada.
We’re deeply committed to providing queer-affirming, sex-positive, and trauma-informed sex therapy to gay men. We believe that everyone deserves to have a fulfilling sex life while being true to themselves. Our goal is to guide you toward greater sexual wellbeing and self-acceptance through counselling that genuinely honours your identity while understanding your uniqueness.
We’re continually inspired by our clients and feel privileged to work with them. Our greatest joy is supporting our 2SLGBTQIA+ peers in overcoming challenges and moving toward a better life.
Ready to start? Click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our counsellors. This initial conversation will help us understand your concerns and determine how best to support you.